That was the week that was

Last updated : 29 November 2002 By Grandmaster Suck
That was a day on the moon that was

"Always watch out for the score of a team the following week after they
have had a good result against the Rangers son, because they are bankers to
get walloped".  That's what I was told in my formative years.  And really,
can anyone truly say that the  scoreline at Firhill last week, where there
were no frills for Dolly the  unprofessional, was all that much of a

What also did not come, as a surprise was DJ on the Cattolica phone-in
last Saturday, who rubbished a caller's claims that Dolly always raises his
game against Rangers?  Derek Johnstone really is contemptible, and yours
truly will be highlighting his every gaffe until he is booted off the Ibrox
payroll.  For the record, I agreed with DJ when he said that Rangers
should have had the game against Dolly sown up at half time the week previous. 

But that wasn't the caller's point.

As for the game in question up at Pittawdry, a couple of weeks ago?  It
has to be reiterated, when you have bad defenders, who at times cannot even
do the most basic requirements of their profession - Konterman trying to
shield a ball out the park, despite it being about 3 yards still in
play, being the perfect example - then these setbacks are always going to

One goal will never be enough of a laurel to sit back and rest upon.

To be honest, I'd fine every last one of those involved up at Dolly's
braes. How many times do we as mere spectators and amateurs have to comment on  the fact that Dolly is a cert to raise his game against us.  Yet our lot  appear not to be aware of this?

Once again our old failing of trying to walk the ball into the net came
back to haunt us.  Once again the enigma of Ronald de Boer was there for all 
to see.  Content to arse and strut about to ultimately no great effect in
the first half, yet still the one guy capable of the killer pass that set
Ricksen up for the penalty that hauled us back into the match in the

Which brings us to the game's first contentious point.  Was Ricksen
denied a goal scoring opportunity in the lead up to our penalty?  Of course he

So that begs the question, why was his assailant not red carded?  
Second point.  Why was one of the Dung brothers not booked for abusing Ricksen  as he lay on the ground at the penalty?  It is open season on this guy and  it is being carried out under the benevolent eyes of our referees.

Last but certainly not least.  An Aberdeen player was seen quite
clearly head butting a Rangers player.  Why has there not been a media
witch-hunt crying for Phil McGuire to be tried by TV evidence?  Now to be honest,  I don't expect yahoo journalists to come out and ask for parity, equality  or justice for Rangers.  But what about the so-called Rangers-friendly
folk in the media.  Are we not expected to demand some shouting from the
rooftops on our behalf from this lot?

Getting back to DJ if I may.  This Ibrox employee was only too happy to
augment Bobby Williamson's argument AGAINST Rangers after the recent
match against the Hivees.  Yet you could put your mortgage on the fact that
he will never come out shouting on our behalf.

As I see it, that is now twice in the last couple of months that
Rangers players have been victims of assaults that have been captured quite
clearly on TV, and twice The SFA/SPL have refused to play the game by their own rules.  This of course should be noted and stored away by the Rangers
support.  Because f there is one certainty in life here in this poxy
wee hole then it is the fact that we will in the not too distant future be
bringing up the hypocrisy of Trial by TV.

Elsewhere that week it was by turns funny and also quite pathetic
watching jagged lil Bill Leckie getting ripped (if dead sheep can actually do
that savage thing) into Lirel Roger Mitchell, the SPL non entity who was preparing to take his leave of Scottish football.

Lil Bill said of Mitchell and I quote; "He owes the middle-sized clubs
who were given the option of spending their last penny on bringing their
grounds up to 10,000 capacities that would never be tested - or face being
banished from the top flight forever."

He then went onto say "Ask St Mirren and Thistle how it feels to have
taken the stadium option.  Ask Falkirk and Ayr and Caley Thistle how it feels
to have been plunged into the Never Never land?"

You know, Lil Bill almost makes a valid point here until you remember
one salient, poignant wee fact.  Leckie, the small mans' man, had feck all
to say when the whole of Scottish football subsidised irafitbaclub for a
season back in 94/95.  Strange that.

What we have to remember here is that lil Bill is the ultimate Jock.
There's none of this 'I'd walk a million miles for one of your goals'
pish from him.  No, Bill would rather 'sleep on a razor on the edge of a
volcano' to see Scotland win.  Yet Ultimate Jock had no problems with the fact
that the club whose directors went to Hampden to support a foreign country
AGAINST Scotland were allowed to squat in Scotland's National Stadium?

But enough about the lil people.  Last Saturday's match against
Dunfermline started off (if you can call 60 mins a start) rather tediously and only burst into life for us in the last half hour.  McCann's chip was a
delight, but if that goal was a surprise there was nothing too unexpected about
Kilgannon's sending  off.  His hatred shone through in a game against
us at East End Park last  February, so to see him resorting to type against
Muscatt - who had a  nightmare incidentally, had something of the
inevitable about it.  It is how the yahoo operates.

Once again though, we missed a host of chances although it has to be 
said the three we did score were all top notch.  Mind you, all three would 
have been playing second fiddle to Arteta's 'goal of the season' effort as 
the match drew to a close.  I'll say again, this young man truly is a
delight to watch.  The maturity in his play and all round technique at such a
relatively young age mark him out as a truly sensational signing.

The Sundays, threw up the usual amount of tosh, but what was served up 
to us by our old pal Gerry McNee about poor old Neil Lennon in the News of 
the Screws beggared belief.  According to page 78, Neilly bhoy should be
allowed to play for the Republic of Ireland.

Where do you begin in trying to fathom out the thought processes of
your average Sellik-minded journalist?  For a start, we still don't know and
probably never will, that it was a Protestant who made that crank call
a few months ago.  Given that it was an absolute disaster for the Protestant
community of Northern Ireland in terms of propaganda.  Given that we
know for  certain the call was a hoax, then who is to say that the
perpetrator of said call was not a Catholic?  But then again, when has an uncertain  grip on the facts ever  stopped a yahoo from venting his spleen?

You really do wonder what yon shrink hired by Alan MacDonald three
years ago would make of the likes of McNee?  His main article last Sunday is
centred on wanting a Northern Ireland player to be allowed to play for the

Yet he has never made any secret of the fact that he hates the Scottish
national side being managed by a German.  And indeed on the very same
page, makes cheap jibes at Bertie Vogts and refers to us as  Schottlanders'. 
I tell you, Basil Fawlty has nothing on this guy McNee.

While we're on the subject of the News of the Screws.  It was with some
disbelief I happened upon the players' ratings by reporter Kenny
McDonald. He gave Averladze and Arteta 4 points, Mols 5 points and Kilgannon who  had been on the park for a handful of minutes and according to his manager  cost his side any chance whatsoever of causing an upset, a whopping, great 6 points.  Stats the state of Scottish football journalism for you.

Elsewhere, Gary Bollan told us in 'Scotland on Sunday'; "Even now when
I'm on the street I receive stick from Celtic fans.  It's just the way it

Just think, all that hatred reserved for a, well Rangers reserve.  You  can
only sit and wonder  at how the average yahoo feels about Rangers  players
who actually do  make the grade at Ibrox?  Folks, I give you the 'Bhoys
against Bigotry' in  all their splendour.

Bollan also gave us an interesting wee glimpse into how they operate 
down west Lothian way, when he told us that he 'was left kicking his heels 
for spells' last season at Almondvale for kicking out at Celtic's Jackie
McNamara.  Only in Scotland, eh?

There's just no getting away from DJ this past fortnight.  Now I don't
have a problem with people like Derek Johnstone holding down more than one

I mean with houses and alimony being what they are nowadays, you need
to pick up a buck anywhere you can.  Hell, I'd probably do a bit of
taxi-ing on the side.  If I could drive, that is.

No, what I object to are squirmy, sleazy people like Johnstone being
allowed to get away with what they say.  Last Monday on ITV's Teletext Sports
Extra page, he said that the beaks should be looking at TV evidence to punish
Motherwell's Jamie McFadden for his excesses against the Hivees last
Saturday.  May I remind you all that five days after the OF game at the
munky-hoose, he said that the SFA were right not to take further action
against Rab Douglas, even though he was caught banjoing a Rangers
player in the tunnel at half time.  What more is there to say about Johnstone? 
He is worthy of only one thing from the Rangers support.  Utter contempt.

You've got to have a sense of humour about you nowadays in this poxy
wee hole called Scotland, mind you.  I mean, in the last couple of days
we've witnessed a political pygmy called Dr Richard Simpson offering his
resignation to Jack McConnell, because he referred to striking Firemen
(and ugly ones too) as 'Fascist bastards'.  This is the same Jack McConnell,
I may add who allows the supporters of fascist murder gangs to walk the
streets of Scotland.

This comes hard on the heels of the front-page headlines of 'The
Hamilton Advertiser' of a few weeks ago, which told us in bold relief of the
'War Veterans Fury at UVF Tribute.' It has to be repeated, the guy who
launched this year's Poppy appeal in Scotland allowed the supporters of The
Poppy Day atrocity in Enniskillen just 15 years ago to walk the streets of
Scotland. But war veterans are unhappy at a floral tribute to the Ulster 36th
Division, who gave their all at The Somme?  It is an upside down world
we live in, right enough.

So it's another Sunday trawl through to the Capital.  Main danger for
me is the French chap Valois, who I think, has a sweet, left foot.  De Vries
has gone off the boil this last wee, while and with Bertie bombscare
injured and Craig Moore back anyway, then I believe he'll still be on simmer come  full time. 

Just do it Rangers,

The Govanhill Gub.