God, I don’t half feel like an eejit now. Having got the wee fella so excited about going to Ibrox by talking up Temps, Big Jig, Lee Wallace and Nicky Law, I was even daft enough to suggest a 5-0 or 6-0 goalfest so, with the all-encompassing benefit of hindsight, his mum’s persistent suggestions that Granda isn’t quite right in the skull is hard to dispute. Thanks for nothing, Ally.
My son-in-law was working on Sunday so, having suffered it ‘in the flesh’, I had to sit with him and watch the recording all over again while the weans, clearly no mugs, were upstairs with their X-boxes, their tablets, or whatever else it takes to entertain them. Having been on my best behaviour at the match, I really let rip in front of the telly and, from the looks that were exchanged across the room, the notion that I have lost the plot was not without justification.
I’m actually beginning to think the same about our manager. Why on earth does he persist with a procession of hit-and-hope balls in the approximate direction of an obviously out of sorts John Daly? McCoist is doing Daly no favours, the big fella is clearly in need of a rest, give him a run-out with the Under-20s, let him rebuild his confidence by rattling in a few goals there, then return to give the first team the benefit of his recharged batteries. I cannot possibly be the only Bear who thinks this way.
Against an Albion Rovers team with three man-mountains at the heart of their defence – and they’ve fielded an unchanged line-up for the past few weeks – was it not a better idea to use a nippy player like Templeton through the middle, make the big defenders feel uncomfortable, with Shiels and Law getting in around them to take advantage? Again, this is not rocket science. It was perfectly clear from the early stages that route one was not the way to go, yet there appeared to be no Plan B.
Yes, he pushed Mohsni up front and we got the equaliser but I don’t think Ally should be patting himself on the back too heartily. Surely we are entitled to expect something a bit more imaginative from our highly-paid coaching team and our highly-paid players. All of which prompts the question: What on earth do they do between games at Auchenhowie?
There is little evidence of the team working on corner kicks: an inswinger for a flick on at the near post or an outswinger towards the penalty spot would appear to be the extent of our repertoire. And we are no more impressive when it comes to defending corners. We pull everybody back, they get in each other’s way, if we succeed in getting the ball away, it comes straight back at us or, as we have seen all too often lately, we end up picking the ball out of the net.
Nor are we any more adventurous with our free-kicks. A touch to the right or the left, then a blast at the wall just about sums it up. Yet with so much football on the telly, there is undoubtedly an ongoing stream of opportunities to check out and adapt various routines, work on them in training, then surprise us all by doing something a wee bit different in match situations. If only…
Lady Luck was on our side when Mohsni’s goal was allowed to stand at the weekend. One of the big problems of playing in the third and fourth tier is that we get third and fourth rate match officials and, as if the SPL officials weren't bad enough, we have encountered a real few roasters since being drummed out of the top flight. With what amounts to an exclusion zone being applied around goalkeepers, I was amazed John Beaton didn’t grab the opportunity to whistle and, having got that break, I fully expect to see our team make it count in the replay.
But we can’t repeat the sloppy stuff which has seen us struggle against Stenhousemuir, East Fife and again against Albion Rovers. We haven’t had too much to shout about lately but, having just checked out the recording, last season’s League Cup tie against Motherwell showed what can be done when the team goes about its business in the proper manner. I strongly suggest Ally and the players refer back to that night before the face Dundee United on April 6.
Get into their faces, get Ibrox rocking, impose ourselves on the game, get it played at a pace which pushes our opponents onto the back foot. There is a grave danger of the wheels coming off the bogey but, if we get our act together now, we can get back on track quickly and end the season on a big high.
A League One, Ramsdens Cup and Scottish Cup treble is up for grabs and it is unthinkable - unacceptable even - that the manager, his backroom team and our players are not prepared to put in the extra special effort to make it happen.
In the weeks and months ahead I hope to persuade my grandkids to return to Ibrox. After Sunday’s dross, Ally and the team have work to do if these fans of the future come back willingly, as a special treat…or are forced to watch more dross for stepping out of line.
Over to you, Mr McCoist.