One of the most appealing aspects of sport is how quickly the prospect of a new campaign can cause the optimist in most of us to make an appeal to be heard. It doesn’t matter how badly went the last shot on the magic roundabout, for the kids in the park are high on the new grass and cannae wait for another hurl.
It seems clear, as you get older, that not only does time start to speed up but the close-season is now merely the latest in a long line of concepts in danger of falling foul of the trade descriptions act.
Of course, results in close/pre/just about ‘season’ mean absolutely zip. But it’s nice to see the ‘new’ strip (assuming the home one is actually available) and the latest ‘new’ or refurbished employees.
It’s also reassuring to note the number of on-field entertainment providers who are either 1) sitting in a hotel in a foreign land presumably writing a book on the art collections of Europe (Yo, Peralta!) or 2) engaging in an interface malfunction (injured).
Even with the established points of certainty each season offers the tantalising prospect of some big (if not always new) questions to be sorted across the months to come.
So, let’s start with the obvious.
1. How do we make it to the end of the season; how exactly will we be funding this?
2. How many of us can make it to the end of the season without calling for the head of the manager and/or suggesting it’s a bit obvious that those slightly older players might have been quite likely to get injured a little bit and this very short-term thinking is not good for the heart or most of the other organs affected by the post-match analysis.
(3-ish) Oh and how awesome is the idea of being a founder member of Rangers in 2014? Wow. It’s almost as if the people in charge are a bit cynical and, not to put too fine a point on it, borderline sociopathic.
To the first: This isn’t an attempt to be funny, or to plead more ignorance than is required, but what’s the plan? The new share issue? Ok. Just that? You sure? Want to phone a friend?
Maybe, and this is entirely hypothetical, instead of phoning, someone could just (or also) email some people – perhaps someone who has recently been at Ibrox as a guest - and see if they fancy discussing a ‘sale and leaseback’ or a weekend playing golf? (I assume actually saying ‘Auchenhowie’ or ‘Murray Park (spit)’ is now a bit like mentioning the Voldermort chap: so many people at the Club and who run the Club seem to be feart to use it and when they do, it often slips away unnoticed from the end of a sentence). So IF (and it is of course just an IF) we’re planning on selling the training ground + the share issue + some cash from the fan scheme? Well, we’ll be seeing you soon, Santa!
So what about Ally and the on-field magic? I’m sorry to have to type this, and in doing so possibly pre-empt some genuinely worthy epistles to the bears and tactical scribbles throughout this 2014-15 Championship odyssey, but there is almost no point in getting worried about this. We’ll romp win the SPFL Championship by seven or eight points, after being a least a dozen up with a month and a half to go. Boyd will score 25 goals, Miller 20, Macleod will inspire, although he will be used sparingly at times as concerns over his general growth and health remain, and the seven at the back will ensure a plethora of 1-0 wins. Chill.
The pointless point is simple – Ally is going nowhere (unless we fail to gain promotion), he’s backed his strategy by strengthening at the back and up front with experience, and we’re not going to turn into Melchester Rovers this season. We’re also far enough into his time as a manager to know enough about the way he likes to set-up his side. And we’re wise enough to be aware that the course has been set: It’s short-term all the way at Ibrox. The hope that people are clinging to – that once we’re back in the top division we will somehow metamorphose into a shiny sexy butterfly – is borderline religious faith, and I mean that in a defiantly pejorative sense. The entire Club needs to change for any genuine mid-term stability to afford allow anything other than plodding on, like an unskilled worker, from wage to wage, bill to bill (with no holiday unless – as this Summer – someone else is picking up the cost of those picking up the bibs.)
The capital test ahead – Hibernian FCC in the Petrofac and Hearts in the Championship – is a TV scheduler’s delight, but should also be a golden ticket for any Club of sweet ambition and manager of competence – it’s a chance to beat both of last year’s SPL clubs and give people a chance to drone on about setting markers or some other sub-Walkerian cliché. Ally should be in the position where he is having to hold back those who remain to be injured; he should be passing round the newspaper cuttings and offering bonuses (pick a boxset!) for everyone who humiliates their opponent; free Cineworld allocated seating season passes for all who get more than a seven in the fish and chip wrapping ratings. We have TWO Home games to start the season? This is a hot fix - including one cold ball and a Protestant computer – and we’re nowhere near the clear sign of impending winter, when we celebrate the mass exodus of the urban herring gull in early October.
Of course, come Monday morning, we could be setting fire to the rubbish bins and killing off the species but it might be nice if we could take some of the rage and passion we feel for the results and the style and do a little more to fight our case in a bigger arena – protests, petitions, and pushing and promoting the notion of engagement with those in positions of power. It’s 2014. The Club is still a shambles. We’ve been done more than a wrong – we may be the victims of a criminal conspiracy and are certainly due answers from government and governing bodies. People are reacting with fury as each week brings with it confirmation of another dodgy aspect of the ongoing SNAFU. Take that anger and convert it to something worthwhile and lasting. Channel it. Support the team, but don’t let those responsible off the hook as we move back towards our place in the top tier.
Enjoy the season. No, really!