Erwin Ganghutter's Festive Rant

Last updated : 31 December 2008 By Erwin Ganghutter
Just Not Good Enough

 The less said about last Saturday the better. 
Our super-duper striker isn't quite as super-duper as we thought he was, his badge-thumping partner obviously overdosed on the invisible pills over Christmas, the Captain spent the entire game moaning at his team-mates when his own performance left a lot to be desired and, although we clearly outplayed FC Semtex yet again, we let them score with their only serious attack of the game.
As for the management, well, like I said at the start, the less said the better.
To rub salt into the wound, Strathclyde's finest took it upon themselves to haul down the Offended Bus banner, while the Bigot Bus banner was allowed to fly unmolested among the Great Unwashed.  All of which makes their Let The People Sing banner something of a sick feckin joke.
Aye, and compliments of the season to you too!!!
. . . . . . . . . .

Scott Booth Of The Rangers…Eh?

His inane utterances on Celtanta make it abundantly clear Scott Booth is no friend of our club so, when our game at Tannadice was screened on Rangers TV a few days later, I was pleasantly surprised to hear him having a pop at the linesman who pulled up a clearly onside Nacho when it was Boydie who was offside in an inactive position fully 30 yards away.
"Yet again the assistants get it wrong," he said, in a manner which suggested he has grown more than a wee bit fed up with referees and linesman consistently making mistakes.
Recognising how strange it was to hear Booth talk good sense, a lengthy discussion then ensued, with the fat Harry Potter's sidekick being rightly bad-mouthed for the clear anti-Rangers stance he has taken over a long period of time, only for us all to fall silent when one Bear injected his own words of wisdom.
"He was very nearly part o oor nine-in-a-row team."
The silence was broken only by a loud 'Whit?' but, as this particular Bear has tended to know a thing or two about goings-on behind the scenes, he was encouraged to elaborate.
Apparently, as the Rangers had a few striking problems around February/March in the 1996-97 season, with Super Ally, Juke Box, Erik Bo and PVV all nursing knocks, Walter contacted 'our friends in the north' in a bid to sign Booth on loan until the end of the season.  Having already intimated his intention to leave by refusing to sign a new contract, the player was persona-non-grata at Shittodrie and it was felt he could do a short-term job for the Gers.
But of course the Mutton Molesters were managed by the bigoted Roy Aitken at that time and the whisper in the grapevine was that he later boasted to his pals 'There was no way I would be helping that lot win nine-in-a-row' (or words to that effect!) so no business was done.  Never mind, Walter then decided to bring Mark Hateley back for his second spell at Ibrox, the big fella did the business as a stop-gap signing and nine-in-a-row was duly delivered by an injury ravaged team.
True or false?  Who cares?  Scott Booth quickly buggered off to the Continent to warm the bench at Borussia Dortmund and Vitesse Arnhem, before returning to the frozen north with his tail between his legs, while Roy Aitken has been in and out of half a dozen jobs and more, usually acting as little more than the bag-carrier for a series of managers.  I've always found it strange that they've never been able to find a place at the Scum Dome for such a bitter and twisted individual.  Then again, maybe they feel his refusal to let us take Booth on loan was more of a help than a hindrance to our quest for nine-in-a-row.  LOL!
So next time Coisty meets up with the Celtanta 'expert', perhaps he should show him a League Championship medal and say: 'Here's what you could have won'.  Them's the breaks, Scottie, some you win and some you lose!!!

Mickey Mouse Teams?
It was very interesting to note that Sporting Lisbon and Panathinaikos, who saw last season's European ventures ended by the Sons Of, have joined our old friends Barcelona and Lyon in the last sixteen of the Champions League.  And with the quality of the sides we faced on the road to Manchester having been regularly rubbished, it will also be worthwhile monitoring the latter stages of the UEFA Cup.  Werder Bremen v AC Milan will be well worth seeing, Fiorentina against Ajax has a nice ring to it and Zenit-Stuttgart looks like being a cracker.
There are more than a few tasty ties looming up on the horizon which serves only to aggravate our frustration at missing out on all the glamour.  Three Italy-England clashes certainly added spice to the Champions League draw and I fancy all the other clubs in the competition to be rooting for the English, if only to take the Italians out of the equation long before the Rome final.  All three will be tight, they could go either way, as indeed could all the ties in the round.  For what its worth, I'm still backing Barcelona to win the thing, although it would be intriguing if they were to find themselves facing Serie A opposition in Italy on May 27.
All 48 clubs left in European competition will be rubbing their hands in anticipation of what the new year might bring…but I'll bet they're all wishing they had lined up a friendly against AC Milan on February 4!!!

Snout In The Trough Again
"Nil By Mouth has helped change the face of Scotland over the past decade."
The words belong to Wee Joke McConnell who, surprise surprise, has been speaking up for NBM as they get the begging bowl out again and go back to that waste of space which is the Scottish Bowling Club (I can't take it serious as a Parliament!) in the hope of getting another grant to keep their anti-sectarianism farce in business.

The original thinking behind this organisation may well have been legitimate enough but the whole show has long since been hijacked by sinister elements whose interest in fighting sectarianism only kicks in when Catholics are victims.  It is common knowledge that they have no interest whatsoever in highlighting cases in which RCs are the perpetrators of sectarian attacks and they have far too many muppets on the payroll to merit another penny from the public purse.
Holyrood must say No to this discredited body's application for yet another hand-out, send them packing with a no-nonsense message and order an investigation into the ever-flourishing anti-sectarianism 'industry' in this small-minded wee country of ours… but I'll believe it when I see it

Having A Laugh!
Rangers' defensive shortcomings have been a much-debated in my local and, inevitably, the talk has turned to who we might sign to bolster the back line.
I'm afraid I've bought into Sir David's depressing we-must-sell-before-we-buy crap and don't expect any significant additions to our squad but, as the talk got more and more outrageous - Berra, Severin, Rob Jones (!) and Lee Wilkie (!!) all got a mention - I reckoned I could have some fun.
"Ah wonder if Bobo Balde's still available."

I'll get my coat.