The Gub's look at the start of 2003

Last updated : 20 January 2003 By Grandmaster Suck
The Start of the New Year and other such stuff

It goes without saying I wish every Rangers fan out there in web land a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year. Yup, it's nice to have gone into our short spell of hibernation with clear light of day again at the top of the pile. But let's not get too carried away with that three point lead. As I've said before and will be repeating in the coming weeks and months, every game from now until the end of the season must be faced up to as if it is a cup final.


The old year came to a very, sticky end mind you with the tired, boring, turgid tripe that is, 'Only an Excuse.' What else is there left to be said about that little weasel Jonathan Watson, which has not already been said. With friends like him, who needs enemies? The Donald Findlay sketch in particular was not only mind numbing, but also totally pointless. Still, as long as this tame, wee, token, lame tame 'hun' can play it for laughs with his yahoo pals, no one should ever be surprised that Rangers were the butts of the jokes.

As I say his pathetic dig at Whiskers QC was made all the more poignant for those of us privileged to have witnessed the man in action at a fundraiser for the Association Boys Club on the Friday before Xmas. In true Pantomime fashion, 'Oh, no you didn't have to ask if there was a video tape running'? Not in that club and not in that particular company, Mr Findlay. And 'Oh yes you are so much funnier doing stand up than a little twonk like Watson could ever hope to be.'

As for the skit with an OF fan parading about in the strip of a foreign country. There are countless thousands more yahoos wear an Ireland top than Rangers fans wearing England tops. So if Watson and Co really wanted to rip the piss out of the concept, why not have your average yahoo in his ROI top?

Not that we should ever be surprised at anything Watson does. His Wednesday slot in the Evening Times with his yahoo pal, Phil Differ, is embarrassing. And his efforts compared to the bile of Elaine-C-Smith-in-drag are about as pathetic and one-sided as the normal fight put up by Dolly against Timmy under (low) Ebbe Skovdhal.


Incidentally, was it not an absolute embarrassment for everyone connected with Dolly when one of their players was quoted on the morning of their game against Timmy as saying; ' Steve Paterson would murder us if he caught us lying down to Celtic'. In saying that, I suppose we should be eternally grateful to the nameless sheep for at least coming out now and admitting what the rest of Scotland has surmised these last 6 or 7 years.


The performance v Dundee on the 2nd was more workmanlike than spectacular, but still we contrived to miss a few chances that surely would have put us on easy street long before Stephen Thomson's clincher. It's always good to see a striker break his goalscoring duck as soon as possible, and here's hoping he can now settle in without any more undue pressure being put on him.


Keeping with matters in that first week of the New Year. We've said it before and we'll continue to say it. There never has been a so-called sports fan as twisted as Timothy. I did highlight the fantasies of one John McGhee on ITV's sports letters page at Xmas regards Celtic fans and racism especially aimed at Mark Walters.

He was aided and abetted over the festive season by another yahoo masquerading as a Rangers fan, one Sean Ferguson. This particular Xmas cracker claimed Walters made his debut at Tynecastle and not Celtic Park. I kid you not. After being caught out big style by Rangers fans the length and breadth of the country, he was back on Teletext last week saying he made a mistake about the venue. (That was big of him, eh?) But he does still CLEARLY remember a number of Rangers fans being banned from Ibrox for life because of the racism they showed towards Mark Walters at Tynecastle.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I know that it is boring and tedious to have to highlight so many instances of the yahoo modus operandi and mentality. But as we will continue to keep shouting here at FF, history shows, if you let the yahoo and his lies go unchallenged then over a period of time they will automatically become accepted as fact. It is how Timothy operates.


The reaction of Timmy, or rather the lack of it towards Carling's joint sponsorship of the Old Firm encapsulates to perfection the hypocrisy of the septic minded when it comes to morality. Remember when McEwan's Lager was the logo on a Rangers top? You must remember it. Yahoos in the media and in politics had a field day. It was immoral, sending out bad messages to the kids, how could Rangers stoop to such low levels just to rake in a bit of cash? Blah, blah, blah. Where are they now? Where are they now then, all these same stout defenders of the nation's morals, now that the yahoos have decided to coin in from the same gravy train?

Not that reality ever stops Tim but dim trying to claim the moral highground mind you. I read a beezer of an article on the subject from a clearly demented yahoo for one of the scumzines a couple of weeks ago. I kid you not, it was something to the effect that it is only the corporate Celtic of today, the PLC board who compete in the 21st century world of high-powered finance that would have accepted taking Carling's money.

Okay then, let's take Tim-but-dim's argument to its logical conclusion. It is only the Celtic FC of today who would have taken money for sponsoring alcohol. So that obviously means the Celtic run by the Kellys, Whites & Grants, would never have contemplated taking such dirty money? You do all I trust, see what Timmy is trying to imply here, don't you? The guys who helped Torbett become a 'made man' at Celtic Park, would have helped keep Celtic's financial integrity intact!

Where oh where do you start in trying to rationalise what goes on behind the mono eyebrow? I mean, the old Celtic families are slaughtered regularly on the Internet when the argument becomes a little too sticky for Timmy to take. The usual answer to impropriety by the Celtic dynasties is usually along the lines of 'Aye, but we saw throo thum and we goat rid oaf thum.'

Yet, when they are shown up for the two faced turnips they undoubtedly are. And I contend that the stony silence from 99.99% of them to the Carling deal does exactly that. Then the same families, the people who apparently milked the Celtic fans for millions (Thank you, oh, thank you McGlone) these same alleged crooks are wheeled out in wheelchairs constructed of whimsy and made comfortable by cushions span out of lies and maudlin. Only thing wrong with this picture is that none of us are buying this codswallop.


I couldn't believe what I was reading and hearing last week when it emerged that Ian Durrant and Peter Grunt were going to have a 'square go' for charity. The bottom line is, we were potentially creating a situation whereby countless thousands of OF fans, the length and breadth of the country were going to be standing in pubs and listening to their rivals shouting at the telly, 'C'mon wee man, knock fuck out of that Orange/Fenian bassa.'

It would have been a truly appalling state of affairs and full marks to Peter 'the shitbag' Grant for seeing sense and calling off. To my mind the only people who would have made any money on the fight would have been the Chapeltown Fire Brigade. Allegedly they would have been on £200 call-out money to protect Grant's maw's house from being torched during the fight. A spokesman for Nil By Mouth said they would have blamed it all on Protestant bigots, whether the house was touched or not. So no change there then.


The other week saw the 90th birthday of one of the most famous of all Rangers fans. I refer of course to Mr Sandor Barcs, the peerless Hungarian, footballing diplomat. According to Gerry McNee, it was Mr Barcs who helped get Rangers' two-year ban halved after the events of Barcelona. My favourite memory of him was one time in the late 70s or early 80s sitting beside Motson and Co in the press box at Wembley being interviewed before an England v Hungary game. (I'm sure it was a qualifier to the 82 World Cup) and there he was sitting resplendent in his Rangers scarf.

So, we should just like him because he's an old man who wears a Rangers scarf, or he chose us as his favourite overseas team because he liked the sound of our name? I personally, think it should go a wee, bit deeper than that. This man was heavily involved in the footballing nuances and practices of a country that gave us one of the most exquisite ever exponents of the beautiful game. I refer of course to the Hungarian team of the 1950s. The fact is the Brazilians who came after studied and learned from them.

A couple of other facts for our readers. Mr Barcs has been asked time and again who was/is his favourite footballer? Baxter is up there with Puskas, Gento and Co, all the apples of his Hungarian eyes. He once referred to Baxter as 'That terrible, terrible boy.' With a glint in his eye of course. So maybe, SB just fancied Rangers in the early 60s then? Don't you believe it. Mr Barcs can (and certainly could in his day) rhyme off the 1928 hoodoo-smashing team, as of rote.

The fact is, Rangers FC have been a lifetime love affair for a man who has reached the very top echelons of the game in his chosen field. Just a wee thought here. Don't you think it would be a most magnificent gesture if the club could try and make him the guest of honour sometime soon? Just bring him out to greet the Rangers support. All with a two-week leading up to it introduction, informing fans how much he is a fan of the club etc, in the Rangers News?


Elsewhere, news came over that a certain Celtic player of old, Jock Weir had sadly passed away. Who the feck is Jock Weir? It's a question; I guarantee some our younger fans, as well as our usual uneducated nominal yahoo may well ask?

Well, the way I see it is this. The yahoos were blessed very, early on - from conception if truth were told - with talented players. But really, it is not for us to examine their buying high-profile Catholic players at this point. The point I'm making is this. You've got Kelly (James). Then there is the Dodds, McNairs and McMahons etc.

There is their famous forward line from before WW1. Bennett, McMenemy, Quinn, Somers and Hamilton. Then you can add Patsy Gallagher, Tommy McInally and all. Then came Jimmy McGrory and the McStay brothers and the Scarffs and the O'Donnell brothers and so on. Then the Kennaways and the Hoggs and the Crums of this world. Or rather Septic world. You do notice that there is not a mention of Jock Weir in sight at this point?

Yet I put it to you all that Jock Weir was he most important Celtic player of all in the first 60-70 years of their tawdry, warped twisted existence. Why? Well it was his hat trick at Dens Park in April 1948 that secured a 3-2 victory which saved them from relegation.

Of course Timothy will tell you that victory that day was not the be all and end all, he'll say it of course, but not with complete conviction. The fact is, if the yahoos had lost, other clubs that had games in hand could have overtaken them. Something that (Timmy if you are reading this and I know you do) will NEVER happen to us.

Still, no one described the events of that day better than the following two extracts from septic minded journalist, John Rafferty. "The depths of Celtic's mediocrity then could be gauged from the fact that, in nine league matches played in the early months of 1948, they scored only three goals and two of these were from penalty kicks." Then later on; " As well as being condemned to fighting relegation, Celtic that day suffered the penalty of failure, neglect, for the attention of football was focussed on the Scottish Cup final between Rangers and Morton." Ladies n gentlemen, I give you Jock Weir.


Elsewhere I see that sanity in football escaped with the narrowest of victories over the spivs, cheats and conmen of FIFA when the English selectors chose not to pick Everton's teen sensation, Wayne Rooney, for the rather preposterous Under 21's World Cup. Because if these selectors had picked him and Everton decided that they as his employers were not going to allow him to swan off and play meaningless matches at a crucial part of the season. Then FIFA were threatening to ban the youngster from playing the game and no doubt would have tried to enforce a penalty upon the toffeemen as well.

This 'incident' really does deserve pages devoted to it as opposed to a few throwaway paragraphs from yours truly. Can you imagine an engineer, a spark or a printer going up to his employer and saying, 'Sorry boss but I just can't come to work for the next month because I'm going to the best Engineer/Spark/Printer of the year awards. Oh, and by the way, I still expect to be paid.

Football clubs really do have to get together as a matter of urgency and tell FIFA that they as the footballers' employers will decide when and if they can play for anyone else. Let's take it a stage further. How would FIFA react if the players got together (indulge me here) and said 'As conscientious employees, we've decided to retire en block from the rigours of International football as it is not fair to risk injury and thus deprive our employers of our services. What would they do, fine and/or ban them all? Those scavenging, parasite scum at FIFA need to be taken on. And the sooner the better! They do not care about football or the rights of clubs or players. They only want to keep the gravy train running for themselves.


Earlier this week it emerged that Rangers had taken two new players over to Dubai to assess their fitness with views to signing them for the title run-in. This fact when alllied to the news that some of our fancy dans who are at the end of their contracts with us, will have to accept a cut in wages if they want to remain at Ibrox, presents a picture that none of us could ever have imagined happening at the club. I can only ask one question on the subject. Are you not glad that we have as manager a man who has had to work on a shoestring for his entire managerial career, rather than his two predecessors, who have put us in this predicament?

See y'all next week folks.

We are the People!