Just prior to take off, we´d seen Falkirk play Dolly & Co off the park for 20 minutes, only to lose a goal against the run of play, so we were well pissed off to touch down to find that the Sheepies had clinched their top six spot with a 2-1 victory. And the Grandmaster was quick to fill us in on the post-split fixtures. Back-to-back home games against Motherwell and Dundee United give us a chance to clinch things on our own patch, although I wouldn´t say No to wrapping it up before then. But knowing the ticket-chasing mayhem which will ensue if we are set to win the league away from home, I´d like a full house of Bears to enjoy an Ibrox party. Finishing with an away game at Sheepieville, I´m certainly hoping everything is done and dusted before then.
The likelihood of meeting the Two Jimmies´ lot on successive weekends is intriguing. With the title in the bag, my good lady suggested that, if I speak nicely to Walter, he might find a place for me in the team at Shittodrie. But would we be the only ones saving our top men for the following week? Ferfuxake, she-who-must-be-obeyed could even get into the woolly fellas´ starting eleven. Well, she wouldn´t be the first big lassie I´ve seen playing for them!
Upon arrival in Dublin, we parked our arses in the Jameson Bar at the airport just at the time when they handing out free sandwiches. Were they laced with arsenic? Obviously not, having seen a fair number disappear down grateful throats with no ill effects. The bar closed at midnight so, with seven hours to kill before our flight to Lisbon, we commandeered a couple of soft seats at ther Caffe Ritazza. It was going to be a long night.
My other half´s ringtone is ´Wolverhampton Town´ so, being in that sort of mood, I disappeared for a single fish and gave her a call. The glares in my direction on my return told me I was not the most popular of Dublin Airport´s overnight dossers. Neither was she. Tough! Altogether now: "I´ve been in exile for some years..."
.....
Tuesday: WELCOME TO LISBON
Leaving Dublin at 7.15, we arrived in Lisbon just after ten o´clock and it sure was great to return to the city which saw the greatest ever achievement by a Scottish club in Europe. No, I´ve not lost the plot, I´m not talking about the fluke result of 1967, but of Rangers´ remarkable success against Sporting Club in November 1971.
Willie Waddell´s Gers overcame the loss of Ronnie MacKinnon with a broken leg, an erratic referee, incompetent UEFA officials, contrived to miss four penalties out of four in the shoot-out - five out of five if you count a retake! - AND STILL QUALIFIED FOR THE NEXT ROUND. Hey, its a bit of a trick. All these years later, I still can´t figure out how we did it. Heres hoping its an omen for Thursday.
For those Bears planning to join us later this week I have a wee bit of advice: Bring an umbrella. It has been Fair Friday weather since we got here, absolutely chucking it down. No sooner had me and the good lady jumped in a taxi downtown and started to get our bearings than some retard ploughed through a massive puddle and came close to soaking everybody.
"Was that a big juggernaut?" she asked.
"Naw, it was Noah´s feckin Ark!"
Of course, we had to head indoors to take refuge from the inclement weather. IMHO Super Bock is pretty close to being the best beer in the world, probably the nearest you´ll get to Tennents Lager outside Scotland. Needless, to say, much of the amber nectar was consumed as we hid from the rain.
As always, you´ll find more than the occasional barman at it. I´d ordered two beers for me and her, then got a bill for €8.85. I pointed out that this didn´t divide by two, he hummed and hawed a bit, then delivered a priceless explanation. One of them was a lady´s beer. Eh? Well, while it was the same measure, the good lady got her Super Bock in a fancier tumbler. So if you´re having a wee bevvy at the Pic-Nic Bar at the Praca do Pedro you might be well advised to steer clear of female company. My other half will be drinking out of a polystyrene cup for the rest of this trip.
There are plenty of squares for Bears to gather in but I´d fancy the Praca do Pedro to be the busiest, with the pedestrian precint running off it and plenty of bars and cafes. I´m sure the Fairy Liquid Loyal will have fun in the fountains.
Baixa is the place to be in downtown Lisbon. With much of the area pedestrianised, Bears can swagger/stagger (delete where applicable) around quite safely. A good helping of steak, egg and chips can be had for around €9 and the beer is reasonably priced. Anybody looking for more than €2.50 is having a laugh at your expense.
With Champions League fitba on the box, we tried to find a pub showing Chelsea-Fenerbahce but, having bought into the Premiership hype, everywhere seems to have gone for Liverpool-Arsenal. At this point we bumped into Iain and Liv from the Golden Last in the British Pub and shared a few shandies. Somewhere along the line, the big man disappeared and returned with the news that ´a wee ice cream shop´ down the road was showing the Chelsea game. So we headed round there and spent the rest of the night reliving a few trips from the bygone days of yore, without paying the slightest bit of attention to the action on the TV screen. How did Chelsea get on?
It looks like the Liverpool-Arsenal game was pretty tasty. Never mind, we had a great time with Iain and Liv. By now, me and the other half were on the red wine and we broke into fits of laughter when our bill for three hours in ´the wee ice cream shop´ came to less than ten euros. Aye, ice cream can seriously damage your liver.
I´d expect Baixa and Rossio to be the main gathering points for Bears and from there we can all hop on to the Metro to Campo Grande to get to the Jose Alvalade Stadium. This is not the same ground Rangers played in on the road to Barcelona. Prior to the Euro2004 Championship, the old place was demolished and a new stadium built, a bit like knocking down Ibrox and rebuilding on the Albion car park. Aw shit, I hope I´ve not planted the seed of an idea in the Minted One´s head.
Anyway, our first day in Lisbon passed without any major mishap, although I write this with the good lady gibbering in my ear about having problems getting me into the lift at our hotel. There is just no pleasing some people.
LITTLE BOY BLUE