Glenn Gibbons: Fibs, fables and failure as a journalist.

Last updated : 16 August 2009 By Knight of the Swan
It used to be the case that a reporter had to possess an intimate knowledge of the game, and be able to make those who had missed the action feel as though they were there. He, it was always a He, was a true pro if he could help bring to life in the mind of the reader the bare words on a page.

Nowadays, when so many games are televised, barely a game involving Rangers truly requires a match report, and so those paid to do so have to rely on some talent for making the reader see anew a detail about the game they might have missed while caught in the passions of the matchday experience. What we so often get instead is a comedy of basic errors, with the whiff of partiality ruining the published work. It has almost become the norm within the industry.

Today's Observer article by Glenn Gibbons, however, has set the bar rather high. Even allowing for the commonplace incompetence and enthusiasm for blunder rife throughout the Scottish footballing media corps, this is Olympic standard material unlikely to be easily surpassed in season 2009/10.

A Rangers team victorious by four goals to one is derided as "relying primarily on physical strength rather than finesse", while much of the rest of the article chooses to suggest that Celtic's performance was far more worthy of praise.

To the latter in a moment, but some points concerning the Rangers game, and the way victory - and the lead in the SPL - was achieved:

Lee McCulloch's outstanding 35-yard finish; the cleverness of Fleck and precision of Davis for the second; and the solo run and finish of Miller (which Gibbons suggests himself was one "of (such) purity") are clearly secondary considerations.

A team guilty of half as many fouls as the opposition is obviously relying on muscle.

Still, Glenn manages to suggest Miller's first was offside (It wasn't) and that Davis played through Naismith for the fourth (he didn't). All from the comfort of one of the best seats in the house. Outstanding.

The "high-tempo assaults", the "unrelenting bullying" deemed "utterly irresistible"  and the second-half withdrawal from conquest as they became "bored with the ease of their authority", came from Celtic at Pittodrie, against a team who have played three, lost three, and conceded eleven goals. Making it the worst result yet gained against Aberdeen this season. And all achieved while IRA chants rang through the air even before the ball was christened.

One wishes one was making it up. Gibbons is. Paid to paint a picture, to enrich, and to stimulate, he cannot even manage to fulfil his duty and accurately report, far less conceal his fantasies.

And all this on day one of the SPL season.  Pathetic.