FEELING DOWN, FALLING DOWN, LYING DOWN

Last updated : 28 May 2003 By Little Boy Blue
People say daft things in the heat of the moment.  None of us are at our
brightest in the immediate aftermath of any event, whether it be the
euphoria of victory or the desolation of defeat, so in other circumstances
it might be easier to accept Chris Atishoo-Atishoo-We-All-Fall-Down Sutton's
Rugby Park outburst.  After all, just a few weeks ago there was much talk of
a memorable season for Sellick, with four trophies heading towards
Camberwick Green.  Ending up with zilch must be a bit of a bummer.

Of course, he was quick to apologise but it is significant he did not do so
personally, preferring to issue a lame statement via his agent, anything to
keep the SFA happy, and I'm sure they will be quite content to send him a
cheeky letter, a quick don't-do-it-again message, then it will all be swept
under the carpet.  But he can't unsay what he said.  He made serious
allegations against fellow professionals and has created an air of bad
feeling which is sure to continue into the future.  You can bet your life on
the Two Jimmies XI getting a hard time when they play at the Dhumb Dome next
season.

And it is all so predictable.  Sellick never lose out to a better team.
Last midweek it was Porto's diving which robbed them of European success,
while at the weekend Dunfermline contrived to hand Rangers the title on a
plate, all part of the great Masonic conspiracy to deprive the loopy hoopies
of glory.  And it will go on and on, season after season, until someone in
authority has the guts to face up to them and put an end to all this
nonsense.

The post-Porto mayhem was absolutely laughable.  Larsson and Sutton have
turned falling down into an art form, a trick which must be worth upwards of
20 goals a season.  For such a big man, Sutton is far too easily knocked off
his feet, so much so that, if somebody was to fart in the Parkheid stand,
I'd bet on him being blown away by the breeze.  As for Larsson, he often
plays as if he wears roller skates, not fitba boots.  But if anybody else
tries the same sort of underhand tactics, we get the Jings-Crivens-Help Ma
Boab stuff.

Their response to Sunday's happy event was exactly what I have expect of
them.  Forget that we had already taken six off Dunfermline in an away game
– did they lie down then too? – it was inconceivable to them that we might
legitimately outscore them on the day.  But ask yourself this: When did
Dundee last lose six goals in a game?  When did Killie last lose 4-0 at
Rugby Park?  Did they really bust a gut to try to beat Septic?  Or maybe we
shouldn't ask such awkward questions.

Coming from a team which has benefitted from the dubious efforts of the
Sheepies and Livvy for quite some time, you would think they would be best
to button the lip at this time.  But that is not how Timothy works.  He will
question referees' decisions, opponents' commitment and legislators'
impartiality time after time, so often that doubts will creep into folks'
minds and, somewhere along the line, when unsure of which way to turn, the
undecided will rule in Septic's favour.  They do not seek fairness and
equality, they want preferential treatment and the benefit of every
doubt…and woe betide society if they don't get it.

Sutton spoke of Sunday being a hollow triumph for Rangers.  Sorry retard, it
didn't feel like a hollow triumph to me.  The best team finished at the top
of the table by virtue of our better scoring record - ain't that what the
game is all about?  It might be hard for Sutton and his kind to take but it
is the way it is and it certainly felt real enough to me.

So bugger off on holiday, loser.  You won't be counting your medals but
maybe you can think about your next wee greet when things go against your
team because, take my word for it, there is a lot more where the past week
came from.  But it would be really good if you could come up with something
a bit more original than the same old conspiracy theory nonsense.

I look forward to hearing it - but I won't hold my breath waiting!!!

LITTLE BOY BLUE